Children Pet Loss

How to Help Children Through Pet Loss

Here's What To Know When Navigating Pet Loss as a Parent

Roughly four out of 10 children have no idea what it's like to live in a home without a pet. As many as 90 percent of children have pets at some point in their lives. What happens, though, when a child's beloved pet dies? How can parents offer grief support to children when they might be grieving as well?


More than two-thirds of American homes have at least one pet, usually a dog or cat. The vast majority of pet owners say that their pets are part of the family. Grief over losing a pet can last a year for adults and can even affect their health.


For children, losing a pet can be as painful as losing a relative. While they might see aunts and uncles once or twice a year, children spend every day with their pets. Years after their pets die, many children still describe the day their pet passed as "the worst day of their lives."


Should children have pets?

No parent wants to see their children in pain. So if it's almost inevitable that a pet is going to die, why would parents risk subjecting their children to the worst day of their lives? Because pets play vital roles in children's emotional and social development.

Pet ownership offers children:


  • A sense of security
  • Loyalty
  • Love and affection
  • A sense of responsibility
  • Emotional and cognitive development

In addition, pets can help children learn critical lessons about life and death.


How to help children navigate the loss of a pet

When losing a beloved family pet, grief is inevitable. However, when handled in an age-appropriate manner, it can provide healthy emotional coping tools for children to carry throughout their lives.


If you have an elderly or sick pet, this is an excellent time to talk to prepare your children. Tell your children that your pet is old and that because it won't be with you for much longer, the children should give the pet some extra love.


Try to create as many memories as possible. Is your pet up for a beach day or a gentle walk through a park? How about a party in the pet's honor? Whatever you do, take lots of pictures.


Toddlers

When a child is under four, grief won't register as it might when older. Very young children can't understand death, but they do feel a sense of loss. Whatever you do, don't tell your children that the pet had to be "put to sleep." It could make them fear sleep, and it might lead them to believe that their pet just needs to wake up.

Instead, be more direct. Gently explain that your family pet has died and won't be coming back. Getting another pet might help alleviate the sense of loss, but it depends on the child's maturity level and attachment to the pet.

There are plenty of resources you can find online, or you can read your children a book, such as "Until We Meet Again."


Ages 4-6

When they're between four and six years old, children have a general concept of death. They may have lost a grandparent or great grandparent, or they may have seen people die on T.V. However, they probably don't understand that death is permanent.


At that age, children are also just beginning to understand how their actions affect others. So they might blame themselves for their pet's death, especially if they got angry at the pet or were chastised for being too rough with them.


Your children might develop a fear of death, which can manifest in unexpected ways, such as stomach pain, nightmares, and incontinence. Sit down and speak with your children. Express your sadness but explain that they have nothing to fear. Experts recommend multiple short discussions instead of a single long one.


Ages 7-9

Children begin to process death in a more adult way at ages seven through nine. They likely know that death is final and will not happen to them anytime soon. However, a pet's death could ignite fear that your death is imminent.


Children at this age might act out or experience unusual behaviors, such as social problems, learning problems, and clinginess. Behavioral issues could manifest weeks or months after the pet's death, so be aware, and if necessary, talk to a counselor.


Ages 10 and up

Pre-teens and teens generally have a more realistic view of death. They know it's permanent and that they don't need to fear its inevitability. However, their grief comes out in various ways, which can include behavioral or school problems.

Talk to your older children and ask them to express their emotions. You can suggest that they write about their pet in a journal or a short story.


How to memorialize a pet

Regardless of your childrens' ages, memorialization is a healthy way to help everyone in the family manage grief. If your pet impacted friends' or relatives' lives, invite them as well. A pet memorial can be as formal or informal as you choose. Here are some ideas:


  • Write an obituary – Write an obituary that includes the pet's name and some other basic information, along with fond memories. Encourage everyone in the family to contribute and keep the memorial in a safe place so you can read it when the mood strikes.
  • Put your pet to rest – There are several options for putting your pet to rest, including pet cemeteries or your backyard.
  • Spread your pet's ashes – If you choose to cremate your pet, you can spread all the ashes in one place, or you can divide them up. Perhaps you can spread some in their favorite place and keep the rest in a gorgeous pet urn. With a pet memorial necklace from our cremation jewelry collection, you and your children can keep your pets near your hearts.
  • Create a photo or video journal – Gather your photos and videos together to make a compilation video. Post it online or in a family blog.

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FAQs

What are the shipping options for my memorial?

Oaktree offers free nationwide shipping on all urns and cremation jewelry items, with delivery typically taking 2-5 business days, including processing time. Need it sooner? Expedited shipping (overnight or 2-day) is available at checkout for an additional cost, and we will also prioritize processing for faster delivery. If you need international shipping, please contact us first to confirm availability and rates.

How long will it take for my engraved item to arrive?

Engraved urns and cremation necklaces require an additional 1-3 business days for personalization before shipping. If you need faster delivery, please contact us—we’ll do our best to expedite processing and accommodate your timeline. Expedited shipping options are also available at checkout to ensure your memorial arrives as soon as possible.

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If your order hasn’t arrived within 10 business days, please contact us so we can track your shipment and resolve any issues. We’ll ensure your memorial reaches you as soon as possible.

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If your order arrives damaged or defective, contact us right away. We take pride in our high-quality craftsmanship and will work quickly to replace or repair your item at no additional cost.

Can I return my urn or cremation necklace? What is your return policy?

Oaktree offers a 100-day return and exchange policy for non-engraved items. Due to personalization, engraved urns are final sale and cannot be returned. For full details on how to start a return or exchange, visit our Returns & Exchanges page.

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If you need to modify an order, contact us as soon as possible. If your urn is already engraved, we may not be able to make changes, but we’ll do our best to accommodate your request before processing.

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Oaktree’s urns are handcrafted in the USA and Europe using sustainable, locally sourced materials. Our artisans ensure each piece is beautifully designed and built to honor your loved one’s memory with care.

How do I choose the right urn size?

Each product page includes detailed dimensions, weight capacity, and cubic inches to help you select the right urn. As a general guide, 1 cubic inch holds 1 pound of pre-cremation weight. If you need help choosing, feel free to contact us.

Some urns are marked as “sold out.” When will they be available?

Our handmade urns may take a few weeks to restock. If you’re interested in a specific style, contact us for an estimated restock date, and we’ll notify you when it’s available.

Does Oaktree place the ashes into my urn?

Yes, we offer an optional ash transfer service for an additional fee. If you’d like us to handle this process, please contact us when placing your order. You’ll need to mail the ashes to us, and we’ll carefully transfer them into your selected urn.

How do I transfer ashes into my urn?

Cremated remains typically arrive in a sealed plastic bag inside a plastic container. To transfer them, simply place the sealed bag inside your urn. If needed, use a funnel for precise placement. If you have any concerns, our team is happy to assist.

How do I order an engraved urn?

To personalize your urn, select “Yes” under “Would you like your item engraved?” on the product page. If you’d like a custom design beyond standard engraving, contact us and we’ll explore options to create a unique tribute.

Can my urn be shipped directly to a funeral home?

Yes! During checkout, you can enter the funeral home’s address for direct shipping.

Can I customize my urn beyond engraving?

Yes! In addition to engraving, we offer custom design services, including unique finishes, symbols, or artwork. If you’d like to personalize your urn beyond standard options, contact us to discuss customization possibilities.

What materials are Oaktree urns made from?

Our urns are crafted from premium materials such as wood, ceramic, marble, metal, and biodegradable materials. We focus on sustainable sourcing and high-quality craftsmanship to create lasting memorials.

Do you offer keepsake urns or mini urns?

Yes, we offer keepsake urns and mini urns, which are smaller versions designed for sharing ashes among family members or keeping a small portion as a personal tribute.

Can I pre-order an urn for future use?

Absolutely! Many customers choose to pre-order an urn in advance. This ensures availability and allows for customization without time constraints. Contact us to arrange a pre-order.

Do you offer pet urns?

Yes, we provide a range of pet memorial urns designed to honor beloved pets. These are available in different materials and sizes to suit dogs, cats, and other pets.

How do I clean and maintain my urn?

Urns require gentle care to maintain their beauty. Use a soft cloth and mild cleaner for metal or ceramic urns. Avoid direct sunlight and moisture to preserve wood urns. Contact us for specific care instructions based on your urn’s material.

Can I travel with an urn? Are they TSA-approved?

Most Oaktree urns are TSA-compliant, making them safe for air travel. Choose a non-metal urn to ensure easy screening. We recommend carrying the urn in your carry-on bag and bringing the cremation certificate from the funeral home.

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Once your order ships, we’ll send you a tracking number via email. You can use this to monitor the shipment status. If you don’t receive tracking details, contact us for assistance.

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