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Grief is not linear, and healing rarely happens all at once. Music, however, can walk with us through the valleys.
Grief affects the body, mind, and spirit. It disrupts routines, clouds thoughts, and strains emotional reserves. In the midst of that chaos, music offers something grounding: rhythm, resonance, and expression. Across cultures and generations, music has been used in rituals, ceremonies, and everyday life to mark loss, remember loved ones, and facilitate healing.
Unlike talk therapy, which requires language, music therapy connects to emotion directly. A melody can stir memories, soothe anxiety, or bring tears long held back. It’s this universal accessibility that makes music such a powerful therapeutic tool in grief.
What Is Music Therapy?
Music therapy is a clinical, evidence-based practice where trained therapists use music to help individuals achieve emotional, cognitive, and physical goals. It’s not just listening to music—it can involve creating, performing, moving to, or reflecting on music in a guided setting.
In the context of grief, music therapy helps people process loss, express complex emotions, reduce anxiety, and restore a sense of connection. Sessions can be one-on-one or group-based and often adapt to the age, cultural background, and preferences of the person in mourning.
How Music Therapy Supports the Grieving Process
Music therapy can be especially effective for those struggling to verbalize their grief. A piece of music may tap into a deeply personal memory or mirror an emotion too painful to speak aloud. Through songwriting, clients may be able to write letters to the deceased or explore parts of their loss they’re not ready to say aloud.
Therapists often use instruments like drums or pianos to help clients express anger, sadness, or even joy. Guided listening exercises may help patients reflect on meaningful songs from their loved one’s life. Some participants find comfort in singing familiar songs or composing new ones that honor the person they’ve lost.
Applications for Different Age Groups
Music therapy is flexible and can be adapted to suit a wide range of ages.
Children often lack the vocabulary to articulate grief. Music therapy offers them a space to explore their emotions safely through rhythm, singing, and movement. Songs become tools for expression and security.
Teens may engage in songwriting or playlist creation, using music as a bridge to talk about memories, regrets, or guilt. It gives them control over the grief process, which can feel overwhelming.
Adults and seniors often use music to explore nostalgia. Therapists might play familiar songs from their youth or encourage them to share music tied to their loved one. This process can be deeply cathartic and can reframe memories with warmth rather than pain.
Music Therapy in Group Settings
Grief is not just an emotional experience—it’s physical, psychological, and deeply personal. While some mourners find solace in words, others struggle to articulate what they feel. That’s where music therapy can become a powerful and transformative support tool. By engaging with melody, rhythm, and sound, music therapy provides a unique pathway to process, express, and eventually heal from loss.
One of the most profound aspects of music therapy is its ability to reach emotions that may be otherwise buried. Grieving individuals often describe feeling numb, overwhelmed, or emotionally disconnected. A carefully chosen song or instrumental piece can gently bypass these defenses and bring buried feelings to the surface. The music acts as a mirror—reflecting what’s going on inside and helping the griever begin to acknowledge and understand those emotions.
For individuals who find it difficult to verbalize their pain, music provides an alternative outlet. Therapists may encourage clients to choose songs that represent different stages of their relationship with the deceased. Some may opt to create playlists filled with music their loved one enjoyed, building an emotional timeline through sound. These playlists become personal tributes and tools for reflection.
In more structured sessions, therapists often use instruments such as drums, keyboards, or stringed instruments to explore and release emotions. Drumming, for example, can help individuals express anger or frustration—feelings that may be hard to talk about but are common in grief. Soft piano improvisations may foster calm, helping clients manage anxiety or sadness. The physicality of playing music adds another layer of expression and grounding, particularly useful for those feeling emotionally adrift.
Songwriting is another therapeutic technique that can be especially meaningful. Clients may write lyrics as letters to the deceased, using the song to say things left unsaid. This creative process encourages emotional processing while offering a tangible, lasting tribute. Many find peace in being able to transform their grief into something beautiful and lasting.
Guided listening exercises are also an integral part of many music therapy programs. A therapist might lead a client through a memory journey using specific pieces of music. This can evoke positive memories, shared experiences, or even allow the client to grieve moments lost. For example, hearing a wedding song, a lullaby, or a favorite concert piece can help mourners recall the joy and intimacy they shared with their loved one.
For some, singing becomes a deeply healing act. Whether singing alone, in a therapy session, or as part of a bereavement choir, using one’s voice helps many reconnect with their bodies, release held tension, and express powerful emotions. Singing also fosters a sense of community and shared experience, which can be comforting during a time of isolation and sorrow.
Ultimately, music therapy offers more than just comfort—it provides movement through grief. It honors the full range of human emotion, from anguish to joy, allowing space for whatever needs to emerge. In the hands of a trained therapist, music becomes a bridge between silence and healing, helping individuals find their voice again—even when it feels lost to grief.
Music and Ritual in Memorial Services
Many families are now incorporating music therapy elements into memorial services and celebrations of life. Rather than simply playing a few favorite songs, some are inviting a therapist to lead a guided musical tribute or commissioning original music composed with the family's input.
Musical rituals—such as group singing, playing an instrument that belonged to the loved one, or lighting candles during a song—can offer a powerful and personal way to mark the moment. These rituals become memory anchors, especially for children and grandchildren who may not fully understand the event.
At-Home Music Therapy Practices
Not everyone has access to a certified music therapist, but music’s benefits can still be felt at home. Families can create memorial playlists to honor a loved one’s favorite songs or set aside time weekly to listen and reflect together.
Other ideas include writing a letter to your loved one and setting it to music, using a shared instrument to express emotion, or lighting a candle while playing a song that brings comfort or release. These moments, though small, become part of the healing rhythm of daily life.
Using Music Alongside Memorial Keepsakes
Combining music with tangible memorial items can create even deeper meaning. Consider these pairings:
Play a loved one’s favorite song while placing their urn in a home memorial corner
Wear cremation jewelry with a matching playlist that reminds you of their presence
Create a video montage of family photos set to music and present it at a memorial gathering
These sensory experiences provide both comfort and continuity. They allow the memory of the loved one to live on not just in mind, but in everyday rituals and surroundings.
Finding a Music Therapist
If you’re interested in formal music therapy, look for certified professionals through organizations like the American Music Therapy Association (AMTA). Many therapists specialize in grief and trauma and can customize sessions for individual or group needs.
Funeral homes, hospice programs, and bereavement centers may also offer referrals. Some even partner with therapists to include musical support in their service offerings. If you're a funeral director, consider adding this service to your planning resources to support your families more holistically.
Final Thoughts
Grief is not linear, and healing rarely happens all at once. Music, however, can walk with us through the valleys. Whether you're silently listening to a ballad, writing a song for someone you've lost, or drumming in a circle of others who understand, music therapy invites movement, memory, and meaning back into the grieving heart.
It doesn’t promise to erase the pain—but it can ease it, hold it, and transform it. For families looking to honor a loved one in a healing, heartfelt way, music therapy offers both structure and soul.
For modern urns, personalized cremation jewelry, and other resources to support your healing journey, visit Oaktree Memorials. We’re here to help you honor beautifully.
