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Aromatherapy—the practice of using plant-derived essential oils for therapeutic benefit—has been part of healing traditions for thousands of years. Our sense of smell is strongly tied to memory and emotion; a familiar scent can instantly transport us to a moment in time. For those grieving, aromatherapy offers a gentle, non-verbal form of comfort. This article explains how essential oils can support emotional well-being during mourning, highlights specific oils, and provides practical ways to incorporate them safely.
How scent influences emotions
The olfactory system is directly connected to the limbic system, the brain’s center for memory and emotion. Unlike other senses, scents bypass the thalamus (the brain’s relay station) and connect immediately to regions governing mood. This is why the smell of fresh cookies can evoke memories of a loved one’s kitchen or why a whiff of cologne can conjure their presence. During mourning, harnessing this connection can be therapeutic. Choosing scents that evoke calm or pleasant memories can soothe anxiety, encourage relaxation and provide a sensory link to the deceased.
Selecting essential oils for grief
While individual scent preferences vary, several essential oils are widely regarded for their calming and uplifting properties:
Lavender: Known for its relaxing effects, lavender can ease anxiety, improve sleep and promote a sense of peace.
Frankincense: Traditionally used in spiritual rituals, frankincense is grounding and can help deepen breathing, making it useful during meditation or prayer.
Bergamot: A citrus oil with a slightly floral note, bergamot is mood-lifting and can alleviate symptoms of depression.
Rose: Often associated with love and compassion, rose oil comforts the heart and can ease emotional pain.
Cedarwood: Its warm, woody aroma provides a sense of stability and connection to the earth, which can be grounding during emotional turbulence.
Chamomile: Roman and German chamomile have soothing, sedative qualities that can help with insomnia and irritability.
Consider any fragrances your loved one enjoyed. If they loved the smell of pine trees, incorporate pine oil; if they baked often, a vanilla bean extract (not an essential oil but still aromatic) might evoke memories. Customize your blend to reflect your relationship.
Methods of use
Diffusion: Add a few drops of your chosen essential oil to a diffuser filled with water. Diffusing in the evening can create a calming atmosphere before bed.
Inhalation: Place one or two drops on a tissue, hold it near your nose and breathe deeply. Alternatively, rub a drop between your palms and cup your hands over your face, inhaling through your nose.
Topical application: Dilute essential oils with a carrier oil (such as almond, jojoba or coconut) to prevent skin irritation. A general dilution ratio is 2-3 drops per teaspoon of carrier oil. Apply to pulse points like wrists, temples or over your heart.
Bathing: Mix 3-5 drops of essential oil with a tablespoon of carrier oil or full-fat milk and add to a warm bath. Soak for at least 15 minutes to allow the aroma to permeate your skin and senses.
Massage: A self-massage with diluted oils along your neck, shoulders and feet can release tension. Alternatively, see a licensed massage therapist trained in aromatherapy.
Aromatherapy jewelry: Wear diffuser bracelets or necklaces that absorb oils onto porous beads, offering subtle aroma throughout the day.
Creating a memorial blend
Combining essential oils can create a personalized scent profile. For example, mix 3 drops of lavender, 2 drops of frankincense and 1 drop of bergamot in 1 tablespoon of carrier oil for a balanced blend that is calming, grounding and uplifting. Label your blend with your loved one’s name or a meaningful phrase. Use this blend during rituals such as lighting a memorial candle, journaling about memories or saying a prayer. Over time, your brain will associate the scent with these acts of remembrance, making it a powerful trigger for positive memories.
Safety considerations
Essential oils are potent. Always perform a patch test before applying to skin and keep oils away from eyes and mucous membranes. Some oils are contraindicated for pregnant women, infants, pets or individuals with certain medical conditions. For example, eucalyptus and peppermint oils can cause respiratory issues in infants; rosemary and sage oils can raise blood pressure. Consult a qualified aromatherapist or healthcare professional if you have concerns. Ensure you buy oils from reputable sources to avoid adulterated or synthetic products.
Integrating aromatherapy into grief care
Aromatherapy complements other grief-support practices. Use it alongside meditation, art therapy, or forest bathing to create a holistic approach. If you attend a support group, bring a portable diffuser or aroma inhaler to share your blend (with permission). In hospice settings, trained volunteers often incorporate aromatherapy into their care packages for families. You can also incorporate scents into tangible memorial items: add a few drops to memory stones, spray a diluted blend on a memory quilt, or include essential oil bottles in a memorial gift box.
Aromatherapy supports emotional well-being without requiring words, making it ideal for those who struggle to articulate their grief. While the Oaktree Memorials blog covers other healing modalities like music therapy, this article introduces the sensory dimension of scent, expanding the toolkit of comfort available to bereaved readers.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What are the shipping options for my memorial?
Oaktree offers free nationwide shipping on all urns and cremation jewelry items, with delivery typically taking 2-5 business days, including processing time. Need it sooner? Expedited shipping (overnight or 2-day) is available at checkout for an additional cost, and we will also prioritize processing for faster delivery. If you need international shipping, please contact us first to confirm availability and rates.
How long will it take for my engraved item to arrive?
Engraved urns and cremation necklaces require an additional 1-3 business days for personalization before shipping. If you need faster delivery, please contact us—we’ll do our best to expedite processing and accommodate your timeline. Expedited shipping options are also available at checkout to ensure your memorial arrives as soon as possible.
What do I do if I never received my order?
If your order hasn’t arrived within 10 business days, please contact us so we can track your shipment and resolve any issues. We’ll ensure your memorial reaches you as soon as possible.
What do I do if I received a defective order?
If your order arrives damaged or defective, contact us right away. We take pride in our high-quality craftsmanship and will work quickly to replace or repair your item at no additional cost.
Can I return my urn or cremation necklace? What is your return policy?
Oaktree offers a 100-day return and exchange policy for non-engraved items. Due to personalization, engraved urns are final sale and cannot be returned. For full details on how to start a return or exchange, visit our Returns & Exchanges page.
How do I make changes to an urn I’ve already ordered?
If you need to modify an order, contact us as soon as possible. If your urn is already engraved, we may not be able to make changes, but we’ll do our best to accommodate your request before processing.
How are your urns made? Where do the materials come from?
Oaktree’s urns are handcrafted in the USA and Europe using sustainable, locally sourced materials. Our artisans ensure each piece is beautifully designed and built to honor your loved one’s memory with care.
How do I choose the right urn size?
Each product page includes detailed dimensions, weight capacity, and cubic inches to help you select the right urn. As a general guide, 1 cubic inch holds 1 pound of pre-cremation weight. If you need help choosing, feel free to contact us.
Some urns are marked as “sold out.” When will they be available?
Our handmade urns may take a few weeks to restock. If you’re interested in a specific style, contact us for an estimated restock date, and we’ll notify you when it’s available.
Does Oaktree place the ashes into my urn?
Yes, we offer an optional ash transfer service for an additional fee. If you’d like us to handle this process, please contact us when placing your order. You’ll need to mail the ashes to us, and we’ll carefully transfer them into your selected urn.
How do I transfer ashes into my urn?
Cremated remains typically arrive in a sealed plastic bag inside a plastic container. To transfer them, simply place the sealed bag inside your urn. If needed, use a funnel for precise placement. If you have any concerns, our team is happy to assist.
How do I order an engraved urn?
To personalize your urn, select “Yes” under “Would you like your item engraved?” on the product page. If you’d like a custom design beyond standard engraving, contact us and we’ll explore options to create a unique tribute.
Can my urn be shipped directly to a funeral home?
Yes! During checkout, you can enter the funeral home’s address for direct shipping.
Can I customize my urn beyond engraving?
Yes! In addition to engraving, we offer custom design services, including unique finishes, symbols, or artwork. If you’d like to personalize your urn beyond standard options, contact us to discuss customization possibilities.
What materials are Oaktree urns made from?
Our urns are crafted from premium materials such as wood, ceramic, marble, metal, and biodegradable materials. We focus on sustainable sourcing and high-quality craftsmanship to create lasting memorials.
Do you offer keepsake urns or mini urns?
Yes, we offer keepsake urns and mini urns, which are smaller versions designed for sharing ashes among family members or keeping a small portion as a personal tribute.
Can I pre-order an urn for future use?
Absolutely! Many customers choose to pre-order an urn in advance. This ensures availability and allows for customization without time constraints. Contact us to arrange a pre-order.
Do you offer pet urns?
Yes, we provide a range of pet memorial urns designed to honor beloved pets. These are available in different materials and sizes to suit dogs, cats, and other pets.
How do I clean and maintain my urn?
Urns require gentle care to maintain their beauty. Use a soft cloth and mild cleaner for metal or ceramic urns. Avoid direct sunlight and moisture to preserve wood urns. Contact us for specific care instructions based on your urn’s material.
Can I travel with an urn? Are they TSA-approved?
Most Oaktree urns are TSA-compliant, making them safe for air travel. Choose a non-metal urn to ensure easy screening. We recommend carrying the urn in your carry-on bag and bringing the cremation certificate from the funeral home.
How do I track my order?
Once your order ships, we’ll send you a tracking number via email. You can use this to monitor the shipment status. If you don’t receive tracking details, contact us for assistance.
How do I contact Oaktree if my question isn’t answered here?
We’re happy to assist! Visit our Contact Us page to reach us via email, chat, or phone. Our compassionate team is ready to help.